


Caught Red-Handed

by mysid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Marauders' Era, Potions, SBRL_Glovesmack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 20:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9140572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysid/pseuds/mysid
Summary: When James suspects that Remus is secretly dating Lily, he decides to get proof.





	1. Chapter 1

“What do you mean you love her?” James and Sirius demanded simultaneously. Peter shifted back slightly in the library chair, ready to bolt if either of the black-haired teenagers were to suddenly lunge at the teenager foolish enough to declare his affection for the lovely Miss Evans. An ominous rumble of thunder seemed well timed to emphasize the danger.

The foolish teenager, however, did not seem fazed by either the storm outside or by the potential one inside. He merely dropped his bookbag on the library table and took the nearest empty seat.

“She managed to get me out of probable detention, embarrassed Snape, and earned ten points for Gryffindor in one fell swoop. You should have been there; she was brilliant!”

“What did she—” James began to ask, but he was overridden by Sirius’s more insistent question.

“Are you going to ask her out then?”

Remus looked up from searching through his bookbag just as a flash of lightning cast the features of all four boys into sharp relief. James looked angry, Sirius looked worried, and Peter looked nervous. 

“No, whatever gave you that idea?”

“You did just say, and I quote, ‘I _love_ Lily Evans,’ didn’t you, Moony?” Sirius asked.

Remus laughed. “I also love chocolate and my favourite blue sweater, but I’m not planning on dating them either.”

“Maybe you should,” Sirius said. “The way your eyes rolled back in your head when you ate chocolate mousse tonight, I thought you were going to come right then and there.”

“Yes, well, it _was_ chocolate mousse.” Remus licked his upper lip. “But that’s more of a meaningless sensual encounter rather than a meaningful relationship.”

* * * * *

Despite Remus’s protests to the contrary, James had been unable to shake his worry that Remus was interested in Lily. After all, who wouldn’t be interested in a girl as smart and pretty as Lily? And worrying him even more was the possibility that Lily might be interested in Remus. A year and a half of being Prefects together had given them ample opportunity to get to know each other, and James knew a friendship had begun. Lily considered Remus a friend; she considered James a troll. Remus definitely had the advantage in courting Miss Evans. 

The more James had thought about it, the more he’d begun to wonder if Remus and Lily were secretly seeing each other. Since declaring, “I love Lily Evans” last week, Remus had been disappearing a lot lately—and taking the map with him. And two mornings ago, James had seen love bites on Remus’s neck and shoulder while he was getting dressed.

James had considered confronting Remus with his suspicions—and decided against it. He’d rather confront Remus with proof. Last evening, he’d brewed a Tangere Manifest Potion and then painted it onto Remus’s hands while he slept. The potion remained invisible for twenty-four hours and then glowed red: in the bottle, on Remus’s hands, and everywhere Remus had touched all day. Since James had finished brewing it at ten-thirty last night, it was due to turn red any moment.

Remus was nowhere to be found— _“Typical,”_ James thought—but at least Lily was in the common room. From across the room, he watched her carefully, bracing himself to see the tell-tale red marks that would indicate Remus had touched her. 

_“And where is Padfoot?”_ James wondered as he looked around the common room for his other missing friend. Although he’d embarked on this extracurricular project alone, he did want Sirius with him to see the results. He could count on Sirius to be appropriately angry on James’s behalf if Lily were covered with handprints.

Red marks began to appear on the common room table, with most of them concentrated around where Remus had done his homework earlier in the evening. James looked up at Lily. Her back was to him, but a clear red handprint was on her shoulder. James frowned and slammed his textbook closed. He walked to the other side of the room. Partial and full handprints were scattered here and there: on the arm of a chair, on the fireplace mantel, on the paper airplanes that Remus and Sirius had been flying in formation earlier in the evening, on James’s own sleeve. People were starting to notice and point out the marks. One of Lily’s friends was calling her attention to the mark on her shoulder, but James could see now that it was the only red mark on Lily. An innocent touch.

 _“I probably owe Remus an apology,”_ James thought. _“Or I could just blame Snape.”_

As if on cue, he saw Remus making his way through the common room toward the boys’ staircase. Remus had his head bowed as if trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Red marks were scattered all over him: spots down the button placket of his shirt, smears on his jeans, a clear handprint on his cheek as if he’d been recently slapped—or merely rested his chin on a potion-painted hand. His hands were hidden. Remus had pulled his cuffs down over his hands, and then tucked his hands under folded arms for good measure. He escaped up the stairs largely unnoticed as his housemates were too busy discovering the other red marks all over the room.

A sudden wolf whistle and a shout of, “Look at Black!” indicated that Sirius’s arrival would not go as unremarked.

Another boy called out, “Who was she, Sirius? Friendly sort, wasn’t she?”

James turned to see Sirius making his way through the Common room toward the dormitory stairs. Red marks were everywhere: streaks of red in his hair, finger marks on his cheeks and throat, palm prints on his shirt and crotch, full handprints on his hips and arse. Sirius nodded, smiling in an embarrassed way, as he pushed through the crowd around him.

 _“I wanted proof—but I didn’t want proof of this,”_ James thought in shock. _“On the other hand, I guess I really don’t have to worry about Remus with Lily, do I?”_ He smiled and sought out the redhead.

“Hello, Evans. Care to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?”

“It’s not a Hogsmeade weekend, Potter.”

“Never stopped me before.”

She rolled her eyes and headed for the girls’ staircase.

James shrugged and headed for the boys’ staircase. It was time to torture Sirius and Remus by noticing that the handprints on Sirius were a bit large to be a girl’s hands.


	2. Chapter 2

James opened the door their dormitory just a crack and then, hearing the voices inside, paused before opening it all the way.

“Hurry up!” Remus urged.

“Don’t touch it, you idiot. You’ll just get red marks on your pyjamas too.”

Judging the moment to be right, James swung the door open wide and grinned at his two friends. They were standing near Remus’s bed and Sirius was buttoning Remus’s pyjama shirt. They’d worked quickly. Remus also wore clean pyjama bottoms, but the incriminating red-marked trousers and shirt were still visible near their feet. Sirius hadn’t even begun to change his own clothes yet, but after the scene in the common room it must have seemed rather pointless. 

At the opening of the door, Remus had balled his hands into fists and tried to hide them under his folded arms. Sirius had jumped back, trying to put a reasonable distance between their bodies. 

“Looks like both of you had a busy night,” James commented as he crossed to his own bed and sat down looking at his friends. “Too bad both of your girlfriends marked you up so obviously.”

“I think it’s Tangere Manifest Potion,” Sirius said. “Remember when we tried to prank Snape with it third year?” He picked up Remus’s marked clothing and shoved it deep into the room’s laundry hamper.

“Looks like Snape did a better job of it than we did,” Remus said. “How long does this stuff last?” He sat on his own bed but was careful to keep his hands hidden from James

“It’ll be visible for twenty-four hours,” James said. “At least, that’s what I seem to remember.”

Sirius had begun to unbutton his shirt, but changed his mind and grabbed a towel instead. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“It doesn’t wash off,” James called after him. “I don’t know why either of you is embarrassed,” James remarked conversationally to Remus when they were alone. “You both obviously won the affections of some very—uh— _amorous_ —girlfriends. Most blokes would be proud to have the proof all over themselves. Now your girlfriends, on the other hand, when everyone sees their red palms and puts two and two together, well—there’ll be no denying who they are. And _that_ will be embarrassing,” James said with a smile, “being romantically paired with either of you two prats.”

“Oh god,” Remus moaned as he dropped his head in despair.

“What I don’t understand is how Snape found out who you two are dating to put the potion on their hands. I mean, _I_ didn’t even know who you were seeing, although I did suspect you were seeing someone. Not fair keeping it a secret from me, you know. It would have been so much easier to put it on _your_ hands and see where your hands have been.” 

When he didn’t get a response, James decided to try a different tack. “May I borrow your History of Magic notes? I may have drifted off during class.”

“You were snoring.”

“I don’t snore. Hand me your notes, will you?”

Remus stared at James’s outstretched hand but didn’t move. James waited patiently, knowing that Remus didn’t dare hand him the notebook and was probably dying inside because he didn’t have a reason _not_ to hand him the notebook.

“It didn’t wash off,” Sirius griped as he came back into the room. Now that he was wearing only a towel, the red marks were just as numerous and even more incriminating. Handprints just above the towel on either side of Sirius’s waist made James’s eyes open especially wide. The orientation of the handprints clearly indicated that Remus had held Sirius by the waist both while facing him and while behind him. James shuddered at the mental image that caused.

“Any handprints _under_ that towel?” James asked with a grin—although he didn’t really want the answer.

Sirius gave him the “Don’t ask” glare and didn’t answer. However, he did drop the towel to pull on a pair of boxers for bed. James avoided looking directly, but even in his peripheral vision, he couldn’t help but notice that Sirius’s crotch seemed bathed in red dye. Sirius pulled on a t-shirt and sat down on James’s bed.

“Snape is so dead,” Sirius announced. “The only question is how. Any suggestions?”

“Interesting,” James remarked as he held his hand over one of the more distinct handprints on Sirius’s arm.

“What?” Sirius growled.

“Your girlfriend’s hands are about the size of mine. A bit large for a girl’s hands.”

Sirius was immediately off James’s bed and on his own. “It’s late. Maybe we should get to sleep.”

“Yeah, you’re probably tired. Judging by the evidence, I’d say you expended a lot of energy tonight,” James said with a smile. “Moony too. His clothes weren’t exactly pristine when he came back. Any red marks on your skin, Moony?”

“Not as much as on Padfoot,” Remus replied.

“It’s strange that you both had encounters with someone wearing Tangere Manifest Potion,” James said as he took off his glasses to undress for bed, “and that you both came back to the common room about the same time.”

When he put his glasses back on, Sirius and Remus were looking at each other with an unspoken, “Does he know?”

“Double dating?” James asked.

“Something like that,” Remus replied.

“Oh, so _not_ both of you and two girls—maybe both of you and _one_ girl? Kinky. I’ve underestimated you. Or, judging by the size of those handprints, maybe the girl was a bloke. But of course, that would be daft. I mean, if both of you were interested in doing it with a bloke, why not just do it with each other?” 

James’s grin was so broad now that Remus said, “He knows.”

James burst out laughing. 

 

_—written November 2004_

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for LJ's SBRL_Glovesmack community, this story contains the required first line and three random items from a given list (lightning, a handprint, and paper airplanes).


End file.
